>                           Sardarji Special
> >                           ================
> >
> > 1. A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating, he 
goes 
>to
> > wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The Manager 
comes
> > running and asks him, "Aap kya kar rahe ho?". To this the Sardarji
>replies,
> > "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaaya hai, 'Wash Basin'.
> >
> >
> > 2. Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first 
match 
>on
> > the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light. He tried another. It
>wouldn't
> > light. The third one finally lit. He lit his cigarette, carefully 
blew 
>the
> > match out and put it in his vest pocket. "What for did you put that 
>match
>in
> > your vest pocket?" his friend asks. To this the Sardarji replies 
"That's 
>a
> > good match. I'll use it again".
> >
> >
> > 3. A Sardar sees a lot of guys running on the highway. He asks a 
>bystander
> > as to why are the guys running. The bystander replies that a 
Marathon 
>race
> > is going on. Sardarji asks, "What do they get from that?". The 
bystander
> > replies that the winner will get a prize. To this, the Sardarji 
asks 
>"Then
> > why are the others running?".
> >
> >
> > 4. A Sardarji once brought his binoculars to a funeral where they 
were
> > going to bury a distant relative of his....
> >
> >
> > 5. A Sardarji doctor to his patient, "It's very important that you 
take
> > this medicine exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain".
> >
> > 6. A sardarji joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.
> >
> > On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, 
"Abey
> > saale! Get me a coffee quickly!"
> >
> > The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed 
the 
>wrong
> > extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"
> >
> > "No", replied the trainee.
> >
> > "It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!"
> >
> > The sardarji shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are
> > talking to, you fool?"
> >
> > "No.", replied the Managing Director.
> >
> > "Good!", replied the sardarji and put down the phone!
> >
> >
> > 7. One Train which was going peacefully on the rail tracks
> > suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and 
then
> > came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified. On the next
>railway
> > station the driver was caught :
> >
> > He was found to be a Sardar. He was questioned. He explained that 
there
>was
> > a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even 
after
> > lots of honks etc.
> >
> > The Authorities questioned: Sardarji are you mad! Just to save the 
life 
>of
> > one person you put the lives of so many passengers in danger!? You 
>should
> > have run over that
> > person.
> >
> > Sardarji said: Exactly! That is what i also decided, but
> > this idiot started running towards the field when the train came 
very
>close!
> >
> >
> > 8. Did you hear the news about the 747 that crashed in a
> > cemetery in Punjab recently? The Surd officials have so far 
retrieved
>40,000
> > bodies!
> >
> >
> > 9. Did you hear about the latest tragedy in Punjab?
> > There was a terrible power failure in a large shopping
> > mall, and people were stuck on the escalators for hours!
> >
> >
> > 10. A sardar wanted to sell his old battered maruti car which had 
done
>more
> > than 100,000kms. Since no body was inclined to buy it, he 
approached his
> > friend to help him dispose it off. The friend advised him to have 
the
> > mileage meter reading reduced to around 30,000 kms so that he could 
tell
>the
> > prospective customer that it has been used sparingly. The sardar 
liked 
>the
> > idea.
> >
> > A few weeks later the same friend met him and enquired whether he 
was 
>able
> > to dispose off his car.
> >
> > The sardar replied, "Are you mad? Who sells a car which has done 
only
> > 30000kms!"
> >
> >
> > 11. Once a sardarji went to the city of Mumbai for the first
> > time to meet his father. His father had asked him to keep walking 
in the
> > direction of the sunrise until he eventually reached his house. 
Since, 
>the
> > sardarji was new to the city he decided to ask a passerby the 
direction 
>in
> > which the sun
> > rose in, east, west, north or south? The passerby who was also a 
>Sardarji
> > thought for some time and then said, "Main bhi is sheher mein naya 
aaya
> > hoon!"
> >
> >
> > 12. Two fast friends, Santa Singh and Banta Singh, were great 
cricket
> > fanatics. They decided that whoever dies first will try to come 
back in
>the
> > dreams of the other, and tell the other about the Cricket life in 
the
> > heaven. Santa Singh dies first. One day as Banta was fast sleep, he 
>heard
> > Santa calling him. He was very happy and was eager to know about 
cricket
> > there.
> >
> > "So, Santa! How is cricket in heaven?" Santa replied, "Hey
> > Banta, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that 
tomorrow we
>are
> > going to have a day & night match here in heaven. And the bad news 
is 
>that
> > you are the opening bowler for tommorrow's match!"
> >
> >
> > 13. Gurpal Singh bought a new answering machine at his house in 
Punjab.
>But
> > after two days, he disconnected it. When his friends asked him why 
he
> > disconnected the new answering machine, Gurpal Singh said," I am 
getting 
>a
> > bad response. My friends say things like ' Saala....phone utha ke 
kehta
>hai
> > ki 'main ghar pe nahin hoon'!"
> >
> >
> > 14. What do u call a Sardarji in Harvard University?
> >          Visitor!
> >
> >
> > 15. Once a sardarji was travelling on a train. He had to get off on 
a
> > station that came up at 4 am. He asked the guy sitting opposite him 
on 
>the
> > train to wake him up at 4 am and gave him Rs 20 to do so.
> >
> > This guy was a barber, and felt that for Rs 20 the passenger 
deserved 
>more
> > service. So, when he fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his 
>beard!
> > When the station arrived, the sardarji was woken up, and he went 
home.
> > Reaching home he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when 
he 
>saw
> > the mirror.
> >
> > Said his wife, " What's the matter?" He replied, "The cheat
> > on the train has taken Rs 20 from me and has woken up someone 
else!!!"
> >