A husband went to work at 9:00 a.m. as usual. For some reason he had to be back home later during the day while running some errands. When he entered the house, he was surprised to find his wife in bed with a man whose head was between her breasts. The husband demanded, "What the hell are you doing?" The stranger stammered, "I'm listening to music." The husband shoved the stranger aside and said,"Let me listen." He then placed his head between her breasts.He said suspiciously, "I don't hear any damn music." "Of course not," quipped the stranger, "You're not plugged in!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's going on here?" he asks. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman. The husband rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy!,Uncle Ted's hiding in your wardrobe closet, and he's got no clothes on!" The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked,cowering on the wardrobe floor. "You BASTARD!!!" says the husband, "My wife's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked and scaring the kids!"