An english professor wrote the words "A woman without her man is 
nothing" on the blackboard and asked the students to punctuate it. The men write: 
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."The women wrote:"A woman, without 
her, man is nothing."


Barbed cut:
A barber gave a haircut  to a priest one day. When he offered  to pay, the
barber refused saying:" I can't accept money from you. You 're a good man---
you do God's work." The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at 
the door of his shop.
One day, he gave a haircut to a policeman. When he offered to pay, the
barber refused, saying:"You're a good man-----you protect the public." 
The next morning , he found a dozen doughnuts at the door of his shop.
Then one day the haircut to a lawyer.' You're a good man----you serve 
the cause of justice," the barber said, and refused to accept money.
The next  morning, the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a 
haircut at the door of his shop.


PROFESSOR SARDAR
Sardar Singh was very keen on doing his Ph.D. He was in search of a subject
on which no one did any research before! As he was thinking over it, he
found a cockroach on the table in front of him. He decided instantly to do a
research on the roach. He picked the roach and put it in the centre of the
table and said: "Run". The roach ran. He pulled out one leg of the roach,
put it again in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. 
He pulled one more leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of the 
table and said:"Run". The roach ran. This way the roach tried to run even 
when it had just one leg. He pulled last leg of the roach, put it again in the
centre of the table and said: "Run".The roach could not!
Our Professor was satisfied with his study and started writing his 
thesis:
"When you pull out all the legs of a roach, it cannot hear anymore".


 CROCODILE BOOTS
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of
crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is
being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge
one . He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st
and *again* barefeet!"


LONG FLIGHT
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," comes an answer "Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up!


AT INDO-PAK WAR
Once in the Indo Pakistan war, Pakistan was fighting fiercely and capturing
everything in sight. A sikh camp called Gurudwara hideout was crucial to
defend from the pakistanis as it contained all the defence secrets. The
pakistani forces surrounded the base and the sikhs had thought that 
they had lost the battle but, suddenly out of the bushes jumps Cptn. Hari Singh
wearing a Maachar dani! (mosquito net) He Pulls out his AK-47 rifle and fires like mad. 
The pakistanis run off quickly. The next day Hari Singh gets a medal. His freinds ask him  
"Yaar thu maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha?" Hari Singh replies "Maachar 
daani itni patli hote hain ki agar maachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan se
ghussenghi?
In the following war Hari Singh retires and his son Gani Singh (NoAssumptions Please!)
joins the army. Pakistanis are again surrounding  the
Gurudwara hideout, the sikhs again think they've lost the war but out 
of the bushes erupts Gani Singh wearing nothing he tries do shoo away the
pakistanis like his father did but instead gets shot. In the hospital his
friends tell him "aare yaar, therre bap me tho itni akal thi ki vo maachar
daani pehin ke gaya tha, aur tu nunga chale gaya"
Gani Singh replies "aare yaar main tho odomos lage ke gaya tha"!


HEIGHTS OF REVENGE
Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had
to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same every
time he tries to sleep, one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a
sound "guooonn, guooonn." He gets very irritated. He tries to  cover his ear
but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the
mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still
wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now starts  singing a lullaby and
says "so ja machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito
falling in to deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says
"Guoooonnnnn,guoooonnnnn."


DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a
double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But
unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is
over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad
condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to 
death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck's goin' on?  Why are you so 
scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but 
you've got a *driver.*"


CHANDIGARH OR JALANDHAR
Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane. He was
alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the
sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was
actually for an old lady. After some time the old lady came and requested
the sardarji to leave the side seat. But the sardaji told: "I want to see
the view from the window and shall not leave". The old lady then complained
to the air hostess. The air hostess came and  requested the sardarji to
leave that seat. But sardarji was adament and did not leave. Then the air
hostess went and told the asst capt. He  also came and requested, but in
vain. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of 
the sardarji, and the sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned 
to the middle seat. Astonished, the airhostess and the asst.capt. asked the 
capt. what he  told to the sardarji. Capt. replied:"nothing.I just told him 
that only  the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others will go to
jalandhar."