A priest was driving along and saw nun on the side of the road  he
stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in  and
crossed her legs, forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg.  The
priest looks and nearly has an accident, and  after changing  gear
lets his hand slide up her leg.

She immediately says "Father  remember psalm 129" The priest apologises
profusely and removes his hand but  is unable to remove his eyes from her leg.

Further on when he changes gear and has oggled at her leg for the
zillionth time he lets the hand slide up the leg again. The Nun once
again says "Father remember psalm 129". Once again the priest apologises

"Sorry sister but you know the flesh  is  weak" Arriving at the convent
the nun gets out and the priest goes on his  way. Once he arrives at his
church he rushes to the bible and  looks up  psalm 129 it said

"GO FORTH AND SEEK, FURTHER UP YOU WILL FIND  GLORY"

MORAL OF THE STORY IN YOUR JOB YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE WELL INFORMED  OR
YOU MIGHT  MISS A  GREAT OPPURTUNITY.

NEVER MARRY A SOFTWARE ENGINEER.
JUST HAVE A LOOK AT THIS CONVERSATION AND THEN DECIDE YOURSELF.

HUSBAND - HAI DEAR, I AM LOGGED IN.

WIFE - WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SOME SNACKS
HUSBAND - HARD DISK FULL.

WIFE - HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE SAREE.
HUSBAND - BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME.

WIFE - BUT I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT IN MORNING
HUSBAND - ERRONEOUS SYNTAX, ABORT,RETRY,CANCEL.

WIFE - HAE BHAGWAN !FORGET IT WHERE'S YOUR SALARY.
HUSBAND - FILE IN USE,READ ONLY,TRY AFTER SOME TIME.

WIFE - ATLEAST GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARD, I CAN DO SOME SHOPPING.
HUSBAND - SHARING VIOLATION,ACCESS DENIED.

WIFE - I MADE A MISTAKE IN MARRYING YOU.
HUSBAND - DATA TYPE MISMATCH.

WIFE - YOU ARE USELESS.
HUSBAND - BY DEFAULT.

WIFE - WHO WAS THERE WITH YOU IN THE CAR THIS MORNING?
HUSBAND - SYSTEM UNSTABLE PRESS CTRL, ALT, DEL TO REBOOT.

WIFE - WHAT IS THE RELATION BETWEEN YOU & YOUR RECEPTIONIST?
HUSBAND - THE ONLY USER WITH WRITE PERMISSION.

WIFE - WHAT IS MY VALUE IN YOUR LIFE?
HUSBAND - UNKNOWN VIRUS DETECTED.

WIFE - DO YOU LOVE ME OR YOUR COMPUTER?
HUSBAND - TOO MANY PARAMETERS.

WIFE - I WILL GO TO MY DADS HOUSE.
HUSBAND - PROGRAM PERFORMED ILLEGAL OPERATION,It WILL
CLOSE.

WIFE - I WILL LEAVE YOU FOR EVER.
HUSBAND - CLOSE ALL PROGRAMS & LOG OUT FOR ANOTHER USER.

WIFE - It IS WORTHLESS TALKING TO YOU.
HUSBAND - SHUT DOWN THE COMPUTER.

WIFE - I AM GOING
HUSBAND - ITS NOW SAFE TO TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER.

Some nice questions and answers

Q: Why did the husband stop having anal sex with his wife?
A: Because every night it was the same old shit.

Q: How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A: One of his fingers is clean.

Q: What's better than hugging a doggie?
A: Kissing a pussy!

Q: Why do women wear red lipstick?
A: WARNING! Wrong hole!

Q: What's the similarity between a woman's legs and bread&butter?
A: Delicious when spread!

Q: What's the difference between a bowling ball & a pussy?
A: You can only put in 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

Q: Ho! Ho! Ho! Why are Santa Clause's balls so big?
A: Coz he only comes once a year! Ho! Ho! HO! STUPID

Q: What's the similarity between a priest & a Xmas tree?
A: Their balls are only for decoration.

Q: Why do men get paid more at the sperm bank than in a blood bank?
A: Sperm is handmade.

Q: What does Kodak & a condom have in common?
A: You use both to catch those special moments!

Most ppl worry about getting aids from sex. Clinton worries about 
getting sex from aides.

Q: What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
A: They become mummies!

Q: What part of the human anatomy that ocassionally drips & feels good 
when blown?
A: The NOSE!

Q: What are the 2 best parts of a wedding?
A: 1. Playing of the organ
A: 2.Coming of the bride